Growing up in an immigrant household whose parents never got the chance to graduate college, Is a household filled with dreams.  Being first generation has to be the hardest struggle I’ve dealt with. Struggles that I slowly started to overcome later in life.  Having everyone and all these voices suffocate me telling me that I have to grow and become this successful person in life is traumatizing but traumatizes me in a positive and hustling way.  Having to learn and guide myself in life has to be the biggest job and biggest achievement I’ve accomplished. Learning an opposing language to what I’m used and born into is a hard task especially with immigrant Mexican parents whose native language isn’t English but rather Spanish. We all weren’t born being geniuses, we all weren’t born learning a language. We all have our unique experiences with the engagement of learning English literacy,  and here is my story. 

 

There have been various moments in my life that play an important role in my language/literacy experiences, and one of them was back in preschool, the place in which I learned to never say never. The place who shaped me into the person I am today. Being around the age of 2 you obviously don’t have vivid consciousness of the memories you created but the one thing I’ll always remember will be the year I overturned the “hard task/nightmare” I once believed in having to learn a language I wasn’t used to, to now overcoming my worst nightmare and became my biggest pride with the help of my amazing preschool teachers. I’ve been oriented to be independent from a very young age. I had no language support growing up. I couldn’t rely on my Mexican immigrant parents to teach me a language in which they had no knowledge in. 

My household consists of only Spanish speakers who only allow for Spanish to be spoken.  Speaking English was like seeking punishment. There wasn’t a day where English was practiced. 

This never seemed to be a problem up until I started school for the first time, pre-school back in the Bronx, the place where I grew up in. Entering this new friendly environment,  seeing these vibrant rainbow colors everywhere, big loads of distributive toys to choose from, fresh innocent faces, kids around the age of 2 years old filled with happiness jumping and laughing encouraged me to immediately learn English to be able to play and communicate with them. My pre-school teachers (my heroes) were both young Hispanic and Chinese females around their mid 20s who never allowed for me to suffer and be left out. They saw I was the only girl in that spacious rainbow room whose favorite place became the corners of the classroom, the little Mexican girl who seemed not to speak, not because I didn’t want to but because I lacked knowledge in language. I was a small shy little girl who was silently suffering, who didn’t have friends but that slowly changed once my preschool teachers noticed it. Not only did I put myself in corners, but also found a way to distance myself outside in my preschool’s yard. I remember this day like it was yesterday which may seem crazy but It’s impossible to forget a memory  that completely changed your life. It was a sunny summer afternoon, where the air was refreshing, flowers were blooming and all these vibrant colors popping out from the playground was like heaven for a 2-3 year old. You can imagine seeing kids playing tag, swinging on the swings going down the slide but I wasn’t that part of that “fun” why? Because I never managed speaking up which haunted me for weeks, not months luckily but weeks. All I wanted was to create friendships and be able to enjoy the summer days in the school yard with the rest. Learning English didn’t seem like a struggle for the rest of the kids but somehow for me it was. The only form of communication I had in school  before learning English was through my Hispanic teacher who I spoke only Spanish with, who noticed it wasn’t normal that I would constantly distance myself from the rest of my classmates. I don’t seem to remember her name, but she, along with my chinese teacher, were always willing to stay with me after school hours to keep me on track with the rest of the kids, the one thing I’ll forever be grateful for and cherish. Every day after school they would spend about 1-2 hours revising and going over my speech and writing. I remember they would read books, watch videos with me up until the last day of the school year. The little shy girl was no longer shy but joyful. The process was insanely satisfying to see and witness from the beginning to the end of the school year. I went to school not learning a single English word to then learning to express, communicate, play with others, and create friendships by the end of the year.  The biggest accomplishment that shaped and overturned my life at just 2 years old.  Going forward into bigger grades I knew I was prepared enough to let my knowledge of the English language be seen in honor of my preschool teachers. I was fully dedicated to continuing and engaging in a language I knew will attract big life opportunities. I knew I was good at the language when I started winning spelling Bee’s at school, an English spelling competition from kindergarten up until 5th grade which rewards the best spelling children with a bee symbol golden medal. There were 3 positions, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place. I think I got first place once but regardless If I didn’t win any medal I still received an award I was proud of receiving, that award was overcoming the obstacle that I once had when I was just a little girl. Who would’ve thought that the shy little Mexican girl, who was afraid of speaking up, who struggled having friendships and was alone most of the time because she didn’t know English was going to be participating in English spelling competitions. I knew I was good at understanding English when my immigrant parents started using me as a communicating reference. I was 5 trying to solve the issues my mom was having with insurance. I was 5 trying to fill out my own doctor’s appointment paperwork. I was only 5 years old when I knew I was going to be my parents and my own biggest pride in life. As the years went by my love for the English language got stronger. I started taking advanced English college courses in high school and overall enjoyed writing and reading. That one experience in preschool became my biggest lesson In life. A lesson that converted me into a stronger version of myself, someone who never gave up for what they wanted. English isn’t my native language but I still managed to learn it and created this strong love bond with it. I never imagined seeing that at 2 years old, I was able to say out loud and proud that I can read and write in two languages instead of one. Learning English has provided numerous opportunities in my life. Without this skill, I wouldn’t be able to determine where or who I am today.